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“Oh, it’s one of those books.” + Giveaway!
“Oh, it’s one of those books.” + Giveaway! 
Anyone who dares to read or write romance books has heard those words, and more often than not we’ve heard them in a scathing tone of voice. Not too long ago, I heard this debate on the radio. The DJ had people calling in, talking about “those books”. The comments, as I’m sure you can imagine ranged from “they’re the downfall of society” to “they’re amazing and have saved my marriage.”
I’ve seen this as a common interview question for romance authors and their answers range from sweet to sassy and beyond. I most always find them entertaining though. As it’s something I’ve faced myself, and I wanted to weigh in on that radio conversation that morning, I thought it timely for this blog. Specifically, the question of why I write romance (aka “those books”.)
My answer to that is the same I give to the people with slightly closed minds who look upon us romance lovers with scorn. Here are my top 5 reasons for writing romance.
Escapism
Many readers view romance as an escape. Even my husband, who is NOT a reader but couldn’t be more supportive of my writing, has read a romance novel or two. And he pinpointed this first reason for reading them immediately. They take you away from the day-to-day of real life.
Falling in Love
Every time I fall in love with a new hero, I find myself falling in love with my husband again. Regardless of how the men in my books behave or what makes them tick, there is a part of them that is from my husband.
Real Romance
Sure, I find flowers and poetry romantic. Grand gestures are great. Sometimes though it’s the smaller, more off the wall gestures, that really touch a girl’s heart. For the heroine in my upcoming book Tangled in Tulle one gesture is the hero delivering a basket full of her favorite snacks. For me, a stellar gesture I think about almost daily is the window my husband added to my office. He opened up my hole in the wall to let the light in. 
Strength
For me, a great romance novel has a core of strength. More often than not the ones that touch me, and the ones I write, have a woman who knows her strength and her value, or she’s discovered it through the development of the relationship with the hero. To me, this sets an awesome standard for young women today. We all need to know we’re stronger than people (even ourselves at times) may think.
Respect
This one sort of falls in line with the last one, but it’s worth stating. Knowing our inner strength, knowing that it’s okay for us to stand up for our beliefs, is part of what has women holding out for the right match. As I stated to the DJ on the radio, we all want a healthy relationship where the couple views each other as equals deserving respect. We want this for ourselves, our friends and our children. Is it so wrong to want to read books that deliver that and show people it’s okay to hold out for that?
So tell me, what are your thoughts on “those books?” If you’re a writer, why do you write them? If you’re a reader, why do you read them? Commenters will be entered into a drawing for a free copy of one of my backlist books (winner’s choice of title and format – winner will be announced on this post so check back later this week!!) You can read more about my books at www.NikkiDuncan.com.
Thanks for having me here, Sue. And Romance at Random Readers, thanks for reading.
Nikki Duncan
Negative comments just show the prejudice of the commentor. It indicates their own insecurities & fears. So ignore them or even feel sorry for them. We’ll keep reading “those books” and have joy & happiness while we do.
Yeah Diane — agreed!
I read ‘those books’ because I am 49 years old. Over my life, I have had enough people telling me I am not doing it right. Not good enough. Not a good enough mom, wife, sister, daughter, American, woman……The list is endless. Now, I read for my own absolutel pleasure. I no longer read books with those lessons to make me better. I read ‘those books’ because they almost always make me smile a bit, even laugh out loud sometimes, they make me tear up and occasionally cry. They are fun. I can relax my brain. And they always have a happy ending. And I longer worry about hiding my books out in public!
Woot – thanks Lisa!
I think that each genre has it’s own stigmatisms.
Romance – bored housewife
Scifi – nerd
Erotica – pervert
Classics – stuffy scholar
Paranormal – wannabe goth
I just ignore the comments over what I am reading and promptly ask them what was the last book THEY read.
LOL thanks Dayle! They are just jealous we love to read.
Hi Nikki,
The reason that I love to read romance books is because they contain everything that I love, passion, intrigue and romance. I want to be carried away to another time and place where people lived, loved, and were finding their way to each other.
I love Historical Romance books with a passion. I always get so into the story and feel myself going back in time to play that part. Inevitably, I fall in love with the hero. I’m grateful for being so delightfully entertained whilst being enriched and enlightened at the same time.
Thank you for this opportunity. By the way, you’re a new Author to me.
dpd333 AT aol dot com
I love ‘those books’. I’m 64, single and finally at the point where I couldn’t care less about what people think of my reading selections. I have also, thru interacting with ‘my’ authors, found that most of them are Christian women who care about their faith. The books take me to my ‘happy place’ and away from the stresses of work.
Right on Sheila — totally agree.
I like books–regardless of genre–that have quirky and likable characters, interesting plots, and a bit of humor. Put those in a romance, and I’m yours.
And yes–that’s what I try to put in all my own books, not matter which genre I’m writing in at the time.
Good luck with the new book!
Thank you for your post, Nikki. When I pick up a romance, I hope that it’s about love. That is, the beauty, power and wonder of romantic love; what it does to those who encounter it; what it inspires and enables them to do for its sake.
For me, that should be the reason for the genre. A reader can vicariously fall in love and go through the complete romantic experience every time she cracks open a book in this field. Or pushes the “On” button on her e-reader, whatever.
Alas, I find that nowadays there’s very little about love in romances—or at least, my idea of love. What I find instead are the main themes of power and redemption. That is, fantasies of power for women and redemption for men. And, of course, unbelievably great sex for both of them.
Yes, I realize this is what most readers demand. It’s their idea of romance, and obviously a profitable one for writers and publishers.
Still, I can’t help but wish there were romances for the rest of us. Maybe someday . . . and in the meantime, what do I do? You guessed it. I write my own!
thanks Deborah & Mary Anne — everyone has the right to make their own personal choices in life & that includes what you like to read – thanks for your comments
I read “those” books because they have happy endings. We raised a special needs, seizure-prone, high functional son so I needed a happy ending. Even the classics are romance books. Little Women had four romances..the parents and the remaining sisters.
Great point Sandi
I read “these” types of books to get away for a few hours without having to think about work, chores or other obligations.
I read romances because I love a happy ending. I don’t want to become invested in these characters and then have one die at the end or ride off alone into the sunset. I want the characters to learn and grow and be happy at the end.
Jane & Barbara – great comments!
I read romance – Romances gives a person “hope” that relationships will endure, that love will surpass all and “cure”/”save” all.
I read paranormal because for a time it allows me to believe that actual honest to goddess magic exists. That there is something beyond the mundane.
For once you can live within the pages, to get away from everyday drudgery, and experience something different. Really hard to express myself well
People who say ‘oh it’s one of “those” books’ i guess do not see the joy that reading a happy-ever-after can bring you. Real life is tough but reading romances give you hope and as Nikki you have said, provides an escape. For me simply reading romances makes me happy, reading the happy ending sometimes make my day.
At one time, I tried to read the 100 most famous/recognized books and struggled through books I didn’t really care to because I thought I should. Now I read hundreds of romance novels a year because I want to. They have the power to take me away from real life worries and allow me to dream of a better day.
You ladies are great – thanks so much for your comments. I have to say, the HEA is what keeps me coming back for more. Also, someone commented about investing your time in characters and a story, & if there is not a good outcome it was all for nothing — good point.
I love to read and write romance books as escapism and to see the world and people in a way that brings out the best in them. In the end people are committed to each other and in love, the enemy is known and brought to justice, and peace has been restored. Love and respect abounds.
I will always read those books for the same reason everyone else reads them because we enjoy them. Its an excape from the real world and just look at all the places you can travel to in THOSE books
I read “those books” because it incorporates so much love, passion and yes even common sense into a relationship. I enjoy hearing how others found their ‘one’. Plus it’s an escape from the horrors of today’s world and reality.
macladie25 at yahoo dot com
I read “those books” because they tell a story. They show how two people can overcome whatever adversity life may have given them. I love “those books” that make me laugh, make me cry, make me want to scream, either yes or no. They are books that take me to a city, state or country I’ve never been. They take me to make believe places and make it seem REAL. They remind me to be more loving, more caring, more nurturing. The authors entertain and delight me. That’s why I read “those books”.
I love all the comments and points you guys have made, and I agree with them all. I heard a woman in a bookstore make one of these negative remarks before I was published. I looked at her husband and apologized to him. In hindsight, it was maybe a little rude, but it was what I felt, so I guess honesty counts for something. LOL
Sorry I wasn’t around to comment more today. I’ve been doing the mom in charge of birthday parties thing today and am only now getting to the computer. I will be around more tomorrow and will announce the winner tomorrow afternoon also.
I love contemp romance and even with that genre am very picky. No vamp, werewolf, tt, urban fantasy, etc.
There are so many great authors out there that write what I like to read and hope they keep doing it.
I love the romance because of the hea – how can you not love a book that makes you feel good. And yes a good read is also a good escape and entertainment.
I am a 36 yr old wife of an injured husband and mother to 3 girls. I read “those books” to keep sane and escape from all my responsibilities and worries. If I didn’t have these books, I’m not sur I could’ve held on this long with all my life troubles and worries. I was reading these types of books for the same reasons even when I only had the regular everyday worries. I’d be lost without these now!
I read romance as a young tween/teen and then went away from it for a long time to read and do other things. I went back to romance during a very difficult time in my life where the real world was just too painful a place. In a romance, unlike in real life (for me at the time), there was always a happy ending. Back then, I couldn’t find a “happy place” except in romance and I desperately needed some joy. Things are better now and I read for enjoyment and because they make me happier but for a while there they just might have saved my life.
I love “those books” they remind me to look past the little things that bug me about my hunny and focus on all of the things that make my toes curl and make me want to snuggle up and tell him how much I love him.
So many people have asked me what I read and shaken their heads when told I read romance! Harlequin books? Yes I answer, Harlequin books but not just Harlequin books, though I read quite a few, but ant romance book; have you ever tried any or even one?
More great comments, all of which I still love. This all has made it so obvious why we read these books and why writers continue writing them and publishers continue publishing them.
And the winner(s), because I’ve decided to do 2, are commenters are Barbara Elness and Kaetrin. If you ladies will email me at nikki @ nikkiduncan.com (no spaces) with your book choice and format preference I will get them to you.
Thank you all for having me hear, reading my post, and commenting. I’ve really enjoyed reading your responses.
Psst, let’s pretend I didn’t hit send before catching the typo. It’s always that way for me. lol
I love to read romance novels because they are a faux-vacation for people like me who don’t have a budget for an actual vaction.I can open a book and right away ‘M wisked to a scottish castle or a pirate ship with a rugged captain.
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