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A Picture Steals a Thousand Souls…+ Giveaway!
A Picture Steals a Thousand Souls…or maybe I’m just a dork by Gwen Hayes
Thanks, Sue, for inviting me to spend the day in your corner of the internets. It’s lovely here. My second book, Dreaming Awake, was released a few days ago, and I’m running into a slight publicity issue that I could use some advice about. I’m hoping your readers can help me.
Every couple of months, somebody, usually somebody from my publisher, asks if I have an author photo. The embarrassing answer is always, “No.”
I’m no shy wallflower, as anyone who has ever met me or read my Twitter feed can tell you, but there is something about having my picture taken that makes me want to crawl under a table and hide. I know I’m supposed to have author photos—some sort of headshot, or a glib I’ve-crossed-my-arms pose, or even the ever thoughtful one-hand-chin-prop…but for some reason, I recoil in horror at the thought of posing at all. Perhaps it’s because I spend too much time at www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com or www.peopleofwalmart.com. I really don’t want to be remembered forever for being the “Just Don’t” poster child.
Maybe I’m reincarnated from a people who believe the camera steals souls (and isn’t that a great idea for my next paranormal?), but I am not sure how to get over it. I’ve tried self-bribery. I promised myself a new outfit if I just make the call to schedule, but that opens up a whole new level of stress. What could I possibly wear that says, “Gwen” more than the pajamas I don daily to write my books? And if I’m getting dressed, surely that means I have to style my hair, which I have no idea how to do, and wear makeup the likes of which I don’t really know how to apply. I am socially awkward, people!
So, my editor, my book publicist, the reporter at the Tribune, my German publisher…everyone wants me to send them a jpeg and a photo release, and I have to pretend I’m mysterious and that’s why I have nothing to send them. No really, that’s what I told my editor. That I’m mysterious. I know, I’m amazed I still have a job too.
I suppose I should have known before starting this gig that part of my job is publicity…but I just keep wishing that people would just go ahead and imagine me how they think I look and leave it at that. Next, people will want me to be coherent on radio shows and read my books out loud at book signings…oh wait…that’s already happened. To varying degrees of success. I didn’t throw up at any rate, and that’s always a good thing.
Being an author really is my dream job…I just need to get over my fear of publicity, right? Maybe I should hearken back to the grand days of the ‘80s when romance authors had lavish photo shoots. I’ll wear a feather boa, smoke a Virginia Slim while holding a small white dog, and recline indolently on a chaise in my chintz boudoir. No? I didn’t think so.
Dear readers, I’m asking you…What do you do to psych yourself up for things you know you have to do but make you uncomfortable? And does anyone have a small white dog I can borrow? Remember, 5 winners are chosen every week for a random drawing of a random FREE book – good luck!
When she’s not avoiding the camera, Gwen Hayes can be found at www.gwenhayes.com or, even more likely, at www.twitter.com/gwenhayes.
Well, Gwen- as a reader I can tell you that I like seeing a photo of the author who wrote the book I’m reading!
We’re always our own worst critics. When I have to psych myself up to do something (which is often!), whether it’s singing a solo in front of my church, or speaking to my son’s teacher (again!), I just remind myself of what my life would be like if I wasn’t always trying to step out of my comfort zone and do something new.
A lot of times the feeling of resistance we feel inside of ourselves is just the thing we need to push through to keep on growing and changing. Without growth and change, we stagnate, and our spirits wither. When I think of it that way, it gives me the boost I need to push through and see things through. I also think about what the consequence will be if I choose not to follow through and keep procrastinating about a certain activity I’m avoiding.
Hope that helps!
So…pretty much I just have to grow up then? Darn.
To psych myself up to do something, I remind myself that it has to be done over and over, you don’t have a choice in the matter. Just get up and get dressed for the battle, whatever it may be. Good luck to all
But…it’s a picture….and a picture is forever…*cries*
I know what you mean. I hate my photo taken sometimes, but I hate having to call certain companies. I always seem to get people with an attitude or one that treat me like I’m stupid. I dead making those calls. I try to remember that I have to do it and that it’s really important to get this done. I also have help from my 4 year old daughter. She looks at me and says “You can do it mommy!” with this sweet smile and that’s a big help. I hope everything works out for you! And thank you for being here, it’s good to know that I’m not alone in not liking to get dressed up for pictures.
Send me your child!
Just kidding.
I usually have to psych myself up when I have to deal with people I don’t like. I usually have to just have to convince myself that I have had to deal with worse and this too shall pass. I usually like to promise myself a treat for perservering. And when it came to dealing with my ex it was really something sweet. I hate me in pictures, I think in 40+ years there are maybe 10 pictures of me that I don’t mind too much and 2 that I actually like and those I was really young. I hate my voice even worse. Video cameras were created by the devil I swear it!
LOL
Oh I hear you.
I suck it up and just do it. There’s not sense in putting it off. The longer I wait the more I dread doing it.
But if I put it off long enough, maybe they will forget they wanted a picture.
I’m pretty much like Susan T; I suck it up and do it. If it is some type of presentation, I try to go first and get it over with. UGH, I hate public speaking… LOL
Yeah, the whole reading my book out loud thing is difficult for me. You’d think I’d be confident, but I even mispronounce words I wrote!
Read it with an accent no one will notice! Have fun with it!!
I just go ahead and get-er-done. I just don’t like something I don’t want to do hanging over my head so I go ahead a do it and get it over with.
A not so pleasant house cleaning chore – I just say to myself the sooner I get it done, it will be over with. Or a colonoscopy. LOL.
Okay…I’d rather get my picture taken than get a colonoscopy. I’m pretty sure anyway.
I’ll probably ask my friends or family how to deal with these uncomfortable things and ask for tips and maybe get some emotional support.
I get uncomfortable in social situations, especially a party where I’m going alone and don’t know everyone really well. I just tell myself that I’ll make an appearance and if I don’t like it I can leave. I usually end up having a good time, despite all the nerves before I go.
Parties are hard. I’m okay if I’m not the reason for the party though. Somebody else’s birthday…I’m fine.
I hate to get my picture taken also. I NEVER take good pics.
No white dog but I have a cream colored pomchii (pomerian/chihuaha mix). * Laughs * Then I have three weiner/dachshunds. Two black and red (one being a long haired) toys and an auburn miniture.
Usually I have friends distract me so not to over “worry” things. I have a tendency to make things out more than they should, over worrying.
If no one is around I listen to music or run story line scenerios in my head to keep me distracted
I psyche whenever my exams, they’re nerve-racking.
To psych myself up, I pray a lot and head into battle. Get it over with and then I will feel SO much better.
I sing in my head ‘I’ve got the power!’ and I say to myself ‘okay, if you do this you can eat a cookie!’.
Also, I listen to my Ipod full of rock music just before doing the scary thing.
LOL…Every time I see a current picture of myself I think “Who is that fat woman??” That’s why I avoid pictures.
I don’t have a small white dog. How about a small gray cat?
How do I psyche myself up huh…Chocolate does the trick, I try not to overdo it though, you know, cause you turn up looking a little green.(maybe thats a good thing?)-
Oh and when I find out someone’s just taken a picture of me, which I really hate, I usually just sneak away the camera and delete the photos, job done.
Oh and I have a small black dog
(why did I say that, that, in no way, solves your problem!)
I don’t like having my picture taken either but thankfully I’m not in a position where I need to either. But I also never liked public speaking either. I always got too nervous. Okay, I’m just not a social person. I’m the wallflower. LOL However, once when I was in high school I had to give like a 20 minute presentation with another girl in my class so naturally I was freaked out. But the class before someone took my purse and hid it and I was all worked up looking for it at the end of the period that by the time I did get it back and went to my next class I was good to go. I don’t know what it was really, whether it was the adrenaline of worrying about where my purse was that got me through it but it was probably the best presentation I ever did.
So I guess my suggestion is not so much needing to get psyched up as needing to get your mind off what you need to do. It certainly helped me. 
Skip the dog … cats are better anyway. LOL
Well when I was younger use to hate going in the b asement to do or get the laundry. My older sister use to tourment me about it, and when I started to go down the stairs she would turn out the light and lock the door on me. After complaing and getting no help, I decided to not react any more I made her and myself believe I was not scared. I would calmly walk to the bottom of the stairs find the dryer and pull the cord to turn on the light above it. Then hurry ass out of the to get back upstairs. But I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that I was OK and there was nothing to be scared of. Plus it pissed my sister off that she could not tourment me any more…at least not that way.
P.S. sorry I don’t have a little white dog, but my daughter does have a toy poodle, he has a golden retriever color. Let me know…I’ll try to sneak him away for you!;-0
When it comes to taking your picture… be bold, daring. Play a part. for favorite herione from a book, any book. Have fun, there is no script to follow so make your own. Be the women how doesn’t care what the rest of the world thinks and laugh out loud with her!!!
i try to relax have soem water
Gwen,
I, too, squirm to have my picture taken, but it’s mostly because no matter what I do, the shot always turns out bad. When I see family with camaras in hand, I try to leave the room immediately. But for those times that I’m not successful in exiting, I just grin and bare it (maybe take three deep breaths in the process) because I’ve figured and have learned now as I grown older that someone else is going to love and appreciate that photo more than my uncomfortableness is worth.