Is Bedroom Clutter Hurting Your Marriage?
Improve your relationship and heat up your love life with these feng shui tips
You tackled the garage and organized your closet as part of your spring-cleaning regimen, but did you know that the clutter under your bed (and on your side table and in your bookcases) could be the reason there’s not much excitement happening in your bed?
Luckily, The Feng Shui Guy, Ariel Joseph Towne, author of Serene Makeover Inner Edition shared his expertise on how to use the ancient Chinese practice of feng shui (pronounced FUNG schway) organization and laws in your bedroom to improve your relationship, heat up your sex life, and create a soothing haven for rest.
“What’s going on in your space is a metaphor for what’s going on in your life,” says Towne. “Clutter represents obstacles to that which we seek; whether it’s a better night’s sleep, connecting to someone else, passion, or energy.
Clutter weighs us down and represents unresolved issues and things that want your attention, says Towne. “When your space is crowded with too many objects, you’re sending a message to the universe that you have more than enough on your plate and you don’t have room for anything else to come in, like romance,” he says.
Here are feng shui improvements you can make to bring more energy and love into your life.
1. Set your bed up in a power position.
First, make sure your bed is not in front the doorway, says Towne. This theory goes back to thousands of years ago when our cavewoman ancestors would have been at risk for a tiger coming in and attacking them while they slept. He says it’s a subconscious thing that can make us feel stressed out. It’s also a good idea to make sure your bed is set up against a solid wall and if you have to have a window behind your bed, put up drapes or curtains to represent a solid wall behind you while you’re in bed sleeping. Towne recommends a wooden headboard to represent the idea of something “having your back.”
2. Clear the space under your bed.
Clutter under your bed represents relationship baggage, says Towne. “You want space around you and a flow of energy…not things getting stuck,” he says. “If you have stuff around you, it’ll feel heavy and like baggage from past.”
3. Don’t fall prey to “bedroom diseases.”
“Anything that doesn’t support sleeping or sex doesn’t belong in the bedroom,” says Towne. He calls everything else you bring in “bedroom diseases,” whether it’s the “workaholics bedroom disease” and you’re surrounded by laptops, files, and work; or you’ve caught a “clothes disease” and your space has suitcases, laundry piles, exposed shoe racks, and dry cleaning all over; or it could be an “exercise-aholic disease” and your bedroom is chock-full of fitness DVDs, stretching bands, and weights which makes you think about exercising before bed. All of these items create obstacles to what you seek in your bedroom.
4. Practice side table feng shui.
Having two of anything, especially equal-size side tables is good if you’re calling in a relationship or want more love in your life. The general feng shui rule is 50 percent stuff and 50 percent space for a room, bookshelf, or side table. If you have more than 50 percent stuff, you’re sending out the signal that you’re “closed for business” and if you have less than 50 percent stuff it’s an invitation for good things to come in, says Towne. Set your side tables up so they help you relax, feel rejuvenated, or romantic, with things like candles, scented lotion or oil, or a relaxing book like The Love Poems Of Rumi.
5. Heat things up with passion colors.
“There’s a vibration and psychology to color, and if you’re surrounded by dark gray colors and it feels like a rainy morning, that’s not a great metaphor for a relationship,” says Towne. Incorporate passion colors like reds, pinks, golds, and oranges to improve your relationship. You can sprinkle them throughout the room in the form of pillows, sheets, or a duvet. And if you have a comforter or set of sheets you absolutely love that aren’t passion colors, hide a red sheet under your mattress as a way of calling in that loving energy without displaying it.
6. Introduce sexy scents.
Do you have a favorite gardenia candle that reminds you of a tropical vacation? Or a soothing room or linen sprays that automatically makes you feel more relaxed? Keep these scents in your room and use them often so they make you feel soothed and sensual. All five senses should be activated in the bedroom, says Towne.
7. Surround yourself with images your relationship.
We know you love your family, kids, and friends, but don’t have photos of them in the bedroom if you want to bring in more romance, says Towne. “Do you want them to watch you make out? Find another place where you can honor your family and friends so they’re not watching what you’re doing in the bedroom,” says Towne. The bedroom should only be for those people in that relationship. Towne recommends photos of you and your partner just outside the room and inside the door so everyone knows this is a sacred space for you both. Then around the bedroom, have your “relationship’s greatest hits” with photos of your courtship, vacations, wedding, and anniversaries.
8. Have an image that represents what you want.
For whatever you want to cultivate in your life, there’s a feng shui cure for that. If you want to improve communication with your partner, you might want to have an image of a man and woman chatting on the phone together and smiling. Find images of what you want, tell yourself what they represent to you, and surround your bedroom with them.
The things we’re surrounded with are layers of energy and connections to the past. Think of your bedroom as a vision board, pointing towards a positive future, says Towne. Make sure the objects in your room aren’t distracting you from a deep rest, so you can relax and feel more turned on. “This will make you feel more connected to yourself, more confident, and if you feel those things for yourself, you’ll be more likely to feel them around someone else.”