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Real Housewives of New York, Episode Four Recap

Real Housewives of New York, Episode Four Recap

Sonja is putting together a Hampton’s fundraiser for the LGBT youth center. It’s going to be a “cabarlesque” — a combination of cabaret and “soft burlesque.” (Very soft, as we will soon see.)

We open with Sonja late for rehearsal. When she finally shows up, she basically goofs around and misses all of her marks. “I have my own way of moving. Very confident. If I may say, very Liza Minnelli.”

Carole and Kristen are driving out to the Hamptons for Sonja’s event. Josh is meeting them out there later, and Kristen is happy for the time apart because she’s still angry about the Spartan Race. At the the way they struggle to get into their wet suits, you pretty much know we’re not going to be watching Point Break. Carole doesn’t get beach, Heather, Kristen, and Carole take surfing lessons from three young guys. Ramona is in Africa, so she’s spared this indignity. From up on her board, but she does get her flirt on with the hot Israeli instructor.

Sonja is busy with drag queens getting ready for the big event. The show will take place in an airplane hanger, and five hundred people are coming. Sonja is not rattled. At rehearsal, the show producers look at her like she’s a lunatic. She decides she’s not going to use the background dancers, and it’s clear no one thinks this is a good idea.

The night of the show, everyone arrives decked out in 1920s-inspired outfits. Kristen poses for photos with Harry. She tells the camera she’s not going to lie, from all she’d heard about Harry and everyone sleeping with him, she thought he’d be a lot more handsome. “I expected him to be a George Clooney or something.”

LuAnn de Lesseps, former RHONY cast member, arrives. She greats Aviva warmly, but Carole tells the camera she wants to avoid LuAnn. Aviva introduces LuAnn to stylist Amanda Sanders. Meanwhile, Sonja is back stage looking up burlesque performances online. Kristen meets LuAnn, and tells the camera she’s “really cool.” She tells LuAnn she’s a model, and LuAnn says she used to be a model, too. “Once a model, always a model,” says Kristen.

Aviva is upset that Heather is snubbing her. Meanwhile, Heather is busy wondering who is “this Amanda person” is and why is she hanging around? Aviva tells LuAnn that she and Ramona made up, but “me and Princess Carole are in a blood bath.”  LuAnn is not surprised, “She’s not had one nice thing to say about me.” They chalk it up to “she’s not a girl’s kind of girl.”

Table place cards are re-arranged so that Carole doesn’t have to sit near Aviva. Sonja takes the stage and she’s embarrassing. Amanda can barely contain herself. Everyone looks appalled.  There is a  ”wardrobe malfunction” and Amanda says, “Ugh…I saw nipple.” Carole tells the camera, “There is a cringe factor. I mean, it’s not Moulin Rouge.”

The next day, Amanda is at lunch with Aviva, Aviva’s husband Reid, and Harry. Apparently, Harry was not invited to the party LuAnn is having that night because they used to date (who didn’t this guy date??) and it’s not cool with LuAnn’s boyfriend, Jacque. Amanda says she he can come as her wingman, and he says okay, as long as we can hook up with each other if we don’t find anyone else. She says, “You better have a package that’s so impressive. Because everyone’s seen it but me.”

The other women are at the Sonja’s (borrowed) house. Sonja says Amanda is “so far up Aviva’s *ss” and wonders why Aviva is hanging out with her. Carole says Amanda is an image consultant, and if anyone needs an image consultant, it’s Aviva. It’s clear that Sonja is bothered that Amanda is at lunch with Harry.

Everyone arrives at LuAnn’s house for the barbecue. Harry and Amanda walk in. Sonja asks, “Why does this woman keep showing up? Like a bad rash? Every time Harry around?” Harry gets Amanda a drink, and this nearly puts Sonja over the edge. She tells the camera, “I don’t consider anyone competition because honey, they broke the mold here. But…the brunette with the boobs. Harry could get sucked into something. I’m not controlling, but what’s mine is mine.”

We get a little back-story about the feud between Carole and LuAnn, and then Carole apologizes to her and they kiss and make up. Aviva sees this, and is cynical about it. She says Carole is “playing chess.”

After dinner, another fight erupts over “bookgate.” Sonja defends Aviva, while Heather is Team Carole. LuAnn tries to referee, but fails. Amanda also tries to jump in to Aviva’s defense, but Heather is having none of it. Sonja tells Amanda, “This is between them.”

Amanda: I don’t think you want to go down this path.

Heather: What path?

Amanda: Being an *sshole.

Amanda walks away and says she wants to “deck her.”

To be continued next week. I have to say, I love having a feisty brunette in the mix and I want to see more of Amanda. What do you think? Cast your vote here

Logan Belle Logan Belle is the author of eight novels, including Now or Never, Miss Chatterley, and The Librarian. For updates and obsessions, follow @jamieLbrenner www.loganbelle.com