TRUE BLOOD, Episode Nine
With just two more episodes to go and shocked by Bill’s refusal to drink Sarah Newlin’s blood, Team Everyone Else tries to reason with him. Sookie even slaps him. Twice. She goes for a third time, but Eric stops her. Jessica is just as upset, but her slap is more metaphorical. She demands Bill release her and he gives an awesome speech about how proud he is of the vampire she’s grown up to be. This is the first parenthood-related moment of this episode, but not the last, and we’re all pretty sure that Sookie is still having sad vampire Bill’s sad vampire baby.
Meanwhile, Sam’s plotline gets wrapped up with him almost entirely off camera. He’s left Sookie a note at his place about leaving town with Nicole, because he can’t stand the thought of not getting to watch his child grow up. Sam does invite Sookie to visit them in Chicago, though. Because everyone is sad, Jessica and Sookie then cuddle in Sam’s empty house. Thank you, True Blood, for leaving us with all the fanfiction possibilities.
Back at Bellefleur’s everything is a bucket of awkward. James, Lafayette, and Jessica all run into each other, and James and Jessica finally have a heart-to-heart that ends with her wishing him and Lafayette well. Clearly, their romance has progressed off-screen after getting caught having sex in the back of a car several episodes ago, once again highlighting an ongoing complaint regarding how True Blood has handled LGBTQ representation.
Also solving their relationship woes are Bridget and Hoyt. They fight about Hoyt not wanting to have kids, and Bridget comes off as incredibly demanding and insecure. She also has a huge jealousy attack regarding Jessica. She’s not wrong, but she doesn’t know that, so it comes off as extremely odd. Although, to be fair, Bon Temps would make anyone crazy. And just in case you weren’t keeping score – this whole mess makes for parenthood mention number three.
Of course, in the middle of this Jessica shows up and provides the back-story on her and Hoyt. Jessica freaks out about Bill’s choices to Hoyt, and they have a gorgeous moment that makes us care more about their happily ever after than any other pairing on the show. Bridget, meanwhile, calls Jason for rescue, and when he pulls up in his official car with lights running and sirens screaming, Hoyt punches him.
Also in the department of unlikely heroes, Eric shows up at Bill’s to try to encourage him to take the cure. He emphasizes that Hep V attacks the spirit was well as the body, but Bill explains he wants to set Sookie free from the pull between them. Somehow, Eric is convinced of this being a marginally reasonable course of action and agrees to talk to Sookie on Bill’s behalf. Bill also tells Eric about his dream in which Sookie “gives birth to death.” We start to worry that Bill’s sad vampire baby will also be terrifying.
When Eric and Sookie talk, he convinces her to speak with Bill, but that confrontation won’t happen until the next and final episode, which is being billed as True Love or True Death? And, frankly, and this point, it’s hard to know how that is going to turn out.
Back amongst the mortals, Bridget and Jason head to his place, but Jason makes it clear they are not going to have sex. Instead he helps her buy a plane ticket back to Alaska and they tell each other secrets. This includes Jason talking about how much he wants children (that’s now the sixth mention), and him telling his version of the mess with Jessica and Hoyt and his own involvement of it while we get a montage of Hoyt and Jessica getting back together and having sex. This is gorgeously shot, sexy, and ultimately hilarious. Never say that True Blood has ever let a moment of camp slip through its fingers.
Meanwhile, back at Fangtasia, everything is a mess. A campy mess. But a mess nonetheless. Team Yakanomo have Pam tied up in silver and about to be executed via a giant wooden stake hanging from the ceiling because Eric has leaked the news of the cure. Eric, however, doesn’t find this out until after offering to finally have sex with Ginger as a reward for all her years of service. This leads to the most absurd sex scene ever in the history of True Blood (and there’s a lot of competition). And while it may not have been good for anyone else, it was definitely good for Ginger, which ultimately might need to be the metric by which we finally evaluate True Blood in the end.
Just one more episode to go!